Tag: #life

Tips 

What do you think about tips? 

Personally, I hate tips 

They are nothing more than a gip! 

Just tell me the whole amount, including the tip 

I am a detail person needing to know  

The whole amount before I go 

Don’t make me figure 10-20% 

Especially in front of my friends 

If I sit and can’t get it to the penny 

I might give away too many 

Sleepless nights that will bring 

As that will screw my budget thing 

My money comes every month in a fixed amount 

So I can’t spend more than I can count 

Italy is the place to be 

They have no tips to make you worry 

You always know the total cost 

I enjoy my food and never feel lost 

Figuring the tip should not interfere 

With my struggle to enjoy my meal 

Do you hear?? 

Diane Harpole 

8/12/2025 

Bain Rings the Bell after Final Treatment of Radiation

Hello everyone, sorry for the delay. Bain’s last treatment was July 18, 2025. This was around 4 weeks ago. Radiation continues to burn for two weeks after the last treatment, before healing begins. A follow-up appointment will be in mid-September to see if the radiation worked.

Fishin Granny 

Granny was getting old and lived alone 

Tired of working in the yard and at home 

Got her coffee and sat in her swing 

Looking at the lake she started to think 

I’m gonna go fishing in that lake 

It’s been awhile, I’m gonna take a break 

Her Buddy used to take her everyday 

They fished every creek and every bay 

Now she does everything alone 

She’s got to clean the minnow tank 

By now, probably getting pretty rank! 

She thought, I’ll go down to the minnow shack 

Pick up the minnows and be right back 

Maybe the girls will be there 

They give lots more minnows and don’t care 

Well, the old man is there with his net 

4 dozen is what I’ll get 

She took the bucket and went back home 

Went down to the dock and loaded the boat 

Took awhile just being me 

Loaded up poles, jackets, paddles and seats 

Got all ready and looked at my minnows 

Well, that old tight wad hit a new low! 

No where there’s 48 

One by one she counted 38! 

He cheated me was what she said! 

I’d like to whop him up beside his head! 

Granny was hot and her temper was flaring 

She got to the store with her bucket she was carrying 

She said, “ Here’s my receipt 

Take the minnows back 

I’m going across the street” 

The lady took the minnows and told her to wait 

She’d give her 2 times the 48 

Granny knew when she saw the old man it was a sign 

He was an old tight wad wasting her time! 

Diane Harpole 

June 30, 2025 

Mouse in the House 

There’s a mouse in my house 

Mouse trails everywhere 

Wash, wash, everywhere he’s been 

All my towels and dish cloths 

Ohh what I’m thinking is a sin! 

I’m gonna get that mouse 

Mouse crap all over my house 

Everyday it’s clean and wash, 

Clean and wash 

I’m gonna get him, by gosh! 

Just you wait and see 

He thinks he’s got the best of me  

I just don’t know where he finds food to eat 

He chews my cookies and crackers 

Even got my leftover meat! 

Well, enough is enough 

I’ll sit and wait 

Like a mama cat mean and tough 

Uh oh, I smell that mouse 

I’ll be still and trap him in this house 

He’s running and making a trail 

I’ll get him this time 

Maybe I’ll catch him by his tail 

Headed to the bathroom 

Running fast with my broom 

I closed the door 

Round and round we go on the floor 

I hear a knock at the door 

Go away, I got this mouse on the floor 

He jumped in the tub 

We went round and round 

He ran so fast and didn’t make a sound 

He made a run over my toes 

Chills went up my spine and I froze 

He moved and we were at it again 

One hit and he went for a spin 

I knocked him out 

And threw him out the door 

I hope he doesn’t come back for more! 

Diane Harpole  6/16/2025 

The Hot Tub 

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Her husband had a bad back 

His doc’s name was Dr. Jack 

He said to get a hot tub 

Relax and get laid back 

His wife found one on Ebay 

With their truck and trailer they were on their way 

They couldn’t wait to get it home 

To get in the tub and be alone 

They never had a hot tub before 

This was a new adventure and more 

He filled the tub as warm as could be 

Put in the chemicals for everyone’s safety 

He was a free spirit in his home 

So, he got in with no clothes on 

His wife was shy as could be 

What if the neighbors see me? 

She wore her swimsuit for days 

And one morning she thought of his birthday 

I’ll give him a surprise for this very day 

Nervously she took her clothes off 

The water did make her skin soft 

Thoughts of a neighbor peeking in 

Was her way of thinking it was a sin 

She was torn between her love and thoughts inside 

A real battle was making her want to die 

But her love for him won out 

She closed her eyes and walked about 

She got in the hot tub 

And to his surprise 

He loved her more and more 

For his birthday prize 

They laid back to recline 

And the real surprise came down the drive 

An employee walked on the porch 

And she ducked as if she’d been torched 

She made a dive 

Thinking she could hide 

But the employee slowly backed away 

He went back to work that day 

And when she got to work 

They joked and laughed 

They caught the boss naked at last 

So what, she said 

I love my husband 

And that tub was his birthday bed! 

Diane Harpole 

May 18, 2025 

CHALLENGES of WIDOWS 

A DREAM 

Do you ever want a hug? 

And a kiss?              

And a snuggle-up snug? 

Just for a moment 

You remember the good times 

You got that funny tingle 

And a twinkle in your eye 

Warm and fuzzy all over 

You remember………… 

Oh God, let me feel his embrace 

And his whispers 

His lips across my face 

His hands with their soft touch 

These feelings are way too much 

All of a sudden, you’re awake 

Having a hot flash 

Dreaming of sex—for Heaven’s sake!! 

My body has needs 

My mind is weary 

Maybe a long walk 

Or just be able to have a talk 

Really don’t want another 

But if true love could find me 

I would not be so lonely 

I would be on my way 

To go places and be able to say 

That I have found a friend 

That will be true to the end 

They will listen to my thoughts and my dreams 

Without judging my visions and what I have seen 

True love is what I need 

To let me be me and love me for me 

Diane Harpole 

Aug. 28, 2024 

Challenges of Widows

Honeypot

Daughter wanted me to get out and go 

Too much staying at home and feeling low 

Needed to have fun and talk to friends 

Tired of arguing so I agreed  

We met her friends for a drink and to eat 

When I talk, I look eye to eye 

A trait most men appreciate 

One of the young men stared 

Who was a good-looking guy 

I felt uneasy as he came on to me 

I tried to be nice and let him lead 

But his conversation kept coming back to me 

Compliments all over the place 

Trying to accept them, but 

I really wanted to put him in his place 

Thinking to myself and trying to make excuses 

He wants to be nice and tell his funny jokes 

Just listen, be nice, and have another doctored Coke 

By now this was getting old 

My patience was getting thin 

I am too old for this young man! 

I could not figure him out 

With all these young girls running about 

Now it was really time to go 

He was talking like I was a “ho”! 

He made out like I was “hot” 

Probably thought I was some “Honey Pot”! 

Not wanting to make a fuss 

I said my goodbyes and said it was fun 

No more getting together with younger men 

 Just getting home felt like a major win! 

Diane Harpole 

1/18/2024 


	


	





	

		
		
LIFE
	


	
	
	

		

How I Appreciate the Good Things





There is a constant in life…..it’s called LIFE. Good things happen to you. Bad things happen to you. Little inconsequential things happen to you. Things that annoy you. Things make you sad, confused, irritated, etc…….., and on the other hand, things that make you happy, warm, secure, safe, and without worry.





From my experience, there appears to be a lot more irritating, confusing, and bad crap in life than there is genuinely good, caring, honest, and accountable things in life.





The only way I know how to appreciate the good things, other than when they happen, is to mention the crap I hate or that irritates me. So here we go……a list of life happenings that I can’t stand. (Only 20 for now but there’s much more.)





    

  1. I hate it when I kick the bed in the dark on the way to the bathroom. Ouch!
    2. 




  2. I hate ATM’s I can’t reach from the car window.
    3. 




  3. I hate idiot “safety” rules at work made by a safety guy who has never done your job and actually makes your job more dangerous than safe. (Ex., tying off your safety harness to a scissor lift when you are 40 ft in the air. If the scissor lift tips over, wouldn’t you want a chance to jump free instead of being tied to it?). However….that’s the rules of safety so we do it.
    4. 




  4. It is MORE THAN ANNOYING when you mention to someone who is trying to make their point, to quit making their point because you understand their point…..10 minutes later……they try to make their point again. Just be quiet already or talk about something good! DANG!
    5. 




  5. I REALLY hate it when I’m ordering through the drive thru window…..at any place…..and order condiments and only get the food…..then the food has pickles when I specifically said….NO PICKLES. Yuck!
    6. 




  6. I hate diarrhea and that rash you get in your crack afterwards. Gotta Love Imodium. It’s a cork in a pill.
    7. 




  7. I hate borderline diarrhea where you simply have a soft stool and have to wipe for 10 yrs also causing a rash and a whole roll of toilet paper.
    8. 




  8. I hate getting a rock in my shoe.
    9. 




  9. Paper cuts…..need I say more.
    10. 




  10. I hate it when almost an entire generation of people feel like they are entitled to everything without working for it. Especially when they are ungrateful for what you have already done for them.
    11. 




  11. I hate it when you sleep really really good, but wake up with a crick in your neck. Just spoils the whole great sleep you just had.
    12. 




  12. I hate that little tickle in your nostril because it’s been a week or more since you trimmed your nose hair, so you have to pull it out manually.
    13. 




  13. I hate it when the clothes washer takes a crap and you have to load up all your clothes and head to the public laundry.
    14. 




  14. I love competition but hate sore losers. Sorry Auburn. Roll Tide!
    15. 




  15. I hate it when some POS such as Harvey Weinstein and others get away with child molestation and murder because they are extremely wealthy.
    16. 




  16. I hate most Democrats in congress. (i.e. Adam Schiff, Nancy Pelosi, AOC, you get the point.)
    17. 




  17. The Government…..love or hate them, they still irritate the crap out of me.
    18. 




  18. I hate the pungent green vegetables, such as asparagus, spinach, etc…
    19. 




  19. I hate it when my cake fails.
    20. 




  20. I hate the Devil because we have enough evil in this world without his interference.
    21. 






As you can see, there are a lot of annoying, crappy things that can happen to you, from major to minor things. Any one of these little annoyances, life quirks, or grievances can spoil your day.





That said……..when the good stuff happens, it really REALLY makes your day so much better and makes you appreciate the good stuff. Whatever has happened to you that annoys you and puts you in a bad mood…..try to stay positive and keep a good attitude, because you might be able to have a positive impact on someone else who has had a shittier day that you.





Bain Mitchum