The Hot Tub
Her husband had a bad back
His doc’s name was Dr. Jack
He said to get a hot tub
Relax and get laid back
His wife found one on Ebay
With their truck and trailer they were on their way
They couldn’t wait to get it home
To get in the tub and be alone
They never had a hot tub before
This was a new adventure and more
He filled the tub as warm as could be
Put in the chemicals for everyone’s safety
He was a free spirit in his home
So, he got in with no clothes on
His wife was shy as could be
What if the neighbors see me?
She wore her swimsuit for days
And one morning she thought of his birthday
I’ll give him a surprise for this very day
Nervously she took her clothes off
The water did make her skin soft
Thoughts of a neighbor peeking in
Was her way of thinking it was a sin
She was torn between her love and thoughts inside
A real battle was making her want to die
But her love for him won out
She closed her eyes and walked about
She got in the hot tub
And to his surprise
He loved her more and more
For his birthday prize
They laid back to recline
And the real surprise came down the drive
An employee walked on the porch
And she ducked as if she’d been torched
She made a dive
Thinking she could hide
But the employee slowly backed away
He went back to work that day
And when she got to work
They joked and laughed
They caught the boss naked at last
So what, she said
I love my husband
And that tub was his birthday bed!
Diane Harpole
May 18, 2025
Radiation@MD Anderson: What to Expect by Bain Mitchum
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CHALLENGES of WIDOWS
A DREAM
Do you ever want a hug?
And a kiss?
And a snuggle-up snug?
Just for a moment
You remember the good times
You got that funny tingle
And a twinkle in your eye
Warm and fuzzy all over
You remember…………
Oh God, let me feel his embrace
And his whispers
His lips across my face
His hands with their soft touch
These feelings are way too much
All of a sudden, you’re awake
Having a hot flash
Dreaming of sex—for Heaven’s sake!!
My body has needs
My mind is weary
Maybe a long walk
Or just be able to have a talk
Really don’t want another
But if true love could find me
I would not be so lonely
I would be on my way
To go places and be able to say
That I have found a friend
That will be true to the end
They will listen to my thoughts and my dreams
Without judging my visions and what I have seen
True love is what I need
To let me be me and love me for me
Diane Harpole
Aug. 28, 2024
20th and 25th amendment poll
We all know that if a president becomes incapacitated or dies, the next in line is the Vice President. The 25th amendment talks about the mental capacity of the current president being in question.
Here’s something I cannot find anywhere…….
If, after the election between Biden and Trump in 2024, Trump wins and is in line to become the 47th president of the United States. Before Inauguration day, if Biden dies or has a Stroke and becomes incapacitated, does Kamala Harris become the 47th president for the next month or two and then Trump becomes the 48th president?
Bain Mitchum
Christy and Tyler
(short story)
Christy and Tyler had been in a relationship for three years. Tyler had a controlling behavior toward Christy, dictating what she said and could do. Christy eventually got the strength to leave Tyler but she began to get up every morning and find herself crying. Christy was left with deep emotional scars and always asked herself why she stayed in the relationship with Tyler after what he had done to her.
One weekend Tyler and Christy were in their home and Tyler went into the bathroom to take a nice hot bath in their whirlpool tub. Tyler called Christy into the bathroom and asked her to join him and offered to give her a massage. Christy got undressed and climbed into the tub to relax with Tyler. They talked for a while as Tyler was massaging her shoulders as she laid back against his chest. Tyler wrapped his legs around her tightening them. He began to massage her shoulders with increased pressure. He slowly began to push her downwards into the water.
Christy was in shock and asked, “What are you doing?” He did not respond at first and remained silent. After a few seconds had passed, he replied, ” You need to watch what you say to people.” Christy began to panic as he pushed her under the water. She started to struggle as he held her down. When he finally released her, she came up out of the tub choking and gasping for air. She began to catch her breath and tears were streaming down her face. Tyler responded, “You need to be careful of what you say because you never know what might happen to you.” Tyler warned her of the future consequences of what might happen to her if she said anything.
As Christy left the bathroom to get dressed, Tyler came into the room and sat on the bed where Christy was sitting. He wrapped his arms around her and told her he loved her and would never do that again.
Christy eventually left Tyler a few years later and the trauma has haunted Christy years later. She has not been able to take baths for fear of a man doing this again to her.
Challenges of Widows
Honeypot
Daughter wanted me to get out and go
Too much staying at home and feeling low
Needed to have fun and talk to friends
Tired of arguing so I agreed
We met her friends for a drink and to eat
When I talk, I look eye to eye
A trait most men appreciate
One of the young men stared
Who was a good-looking guy
I felt uneasy as he came on to me
I tried to be nice and let him lead
But his conversation kept coming back to me
Compliments all over the place
Trying to accept them, but
I really wanted to put him in his place
Thinking to myself and trying to make excuses
He wants to be nice and tell his funny jokes
Just listen, be nice, and have another doctored Coke
By now this was getting old
My patience was getting thin
I am too old for this young man!
I could not figure him out
With all these young girls running about
Now it was really time to go
He was talking like I was a “ho”!
He made out like I was “hot”
Probably thought I was some “Honey Pot”!
Not wanting to make a fuss
I said my goodbyes and said it was fun
No more getting together with younger men
Just getting home felt like a major win!
Diane Harpole
1/18/2024
WHEN TO GO FISHING
I WANTED TO GO FISHING ONE DAY
CALLED MY BROTHER TO SAY
CAN I BORROW A POLE?
HE SAID, “AIN’T NO NEED TO GO
THE COWS ARE LAYING LOW
THEY ARE ALL LAYING DOWN
JUST TAKE YOURSELF & GO BACK TO TOWN
FISH WON’T BITE I GUARANTEE
AND IF YOU GO YOU WILL SEE
THOSE FISH WON’T EVEN BITE”
I WONDER IF THIS IS TRUE AT NIGHT
BROTHER SAID, “THERE IS ONE MORE THING”
WATCH THE WIND AND SEE THE WAY IT BLOWS
JUST SO YOU’LL KNOW
IF IT IS OUT OF THE EAST
FISH WILL BITE THE LEAST
AND IF IT BLOWS OUT OF THE WEST
THEY WILL BITE THE BEST
JUST SOME FISHING SMARTS
FROM MY BROTHER, MARK
ONE MORE SIGN TO SEE
BUILD A FIRE AND WATCH THE SMOKE
THIS IS THE KEY
IF IT GOES STRAIGHT UP
MORE FISH WILL BITE YOUR HOOK
BUT IF THE SMOKE IS CLOSE TO THE GROUND
NO FISH WILL BE FOUND!
Diane Harpole 3/2/2023
Clean Movie
I had a date the other night
A good impression was in sight
Heard he was a religious man
I had to watch what I said
Tried to be on my best behavior
And wanted to do things in his favor
I looked up clean movies for him
All I could find was love, lust, and mayhem
I got tired of looking for ideas
So I asked,” Do you know Madea?”
He didn’t know of her
So I introduced this kind sir
Wasn’t sure of this movie he’d see
Just hoping it was clean as could be
She had a few choice words
He laughed and showed he was no nerd
Madea taught him a thing or two
Ugly words can be funny, too
Madea is sly and full of tricks
Her movies will always be my pick
Diane Harpole 2/20/2023
Monkey Poop
There’s only one difference between a Monkey and Life. They can both be affectionate and they can both throw shit at you……but only the monkey is laughing
Bain Mitchum
ReneesVariety.com 